Christmas Quotes; Merry Christmas

Christmas is a season in which everything in this world seems beautiful and spiritual. The one who has not Christmas in his heart, he will never find a merry Christmas under any tree. Christmas is not only a season but a true religious feeling in which everyone around the world celebrates merry Christmas quotes for family. Today we have compiled some of the best funny Christmas quotes for cards which can be used to spread the joy. Thousands of people search for short merry Christmas sayings quotes which are religious and spiritual which can be used for sending to all Christian. Best merry Christmas christian card quotes along with greeting cards quotes are also posted. The season of peace, charity, love, prosperity, faith, harmony and many more has arrived, so start your new year with Christmas Season Quotes.

It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.” ~ W.T. Ellis

“One can never have enough socks,” said Dumbledore. “Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.” ― J.K. Rowling

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” ― George Carlin

“Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

“I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month.” ~ Harlan Miller

“God never gives someone a gift they are not capable of receiving. If he gives us the gift of Christmas, it is because we all have the ability to understand and receive it.” Pope Francis

“I heard the bells on Christmas Day Their old, familiar carols play, And wild and sweet The words repeat Of peace on earth, good-will to men!” ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“Christmas gift suggestions: to your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.” ~ Oren Arnold

“My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others.” Bob Hope

“There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.” ~ Erma Bombeck

Funny Christmas Quotes Christmas is a time for celebration and enjoyment so for such a special event we have selected the best ever collection of Funny merry Christmas quotes and sayings for family and friends. We know Christmas is a holiday and everyone gathers at one place for celebration and makes fun, so for sharing we have some funny Christmas expressions with captions. Most famous and popular quotations for Christmas are also provided.

Funny Christmas Sayings

Holiday cheer? Right here. These Funny Christmas Sayings will chuckle you up and cheer your cup. Funny quotations and free clean jokes for all the festivities. Injoy!
Share your own Christmas Humor or feedback in the Comment box.

Funny Sayings:

Group 1

Zen Christmas: the gift of nothingness.

Why is Christmas like a day at the office?
Because you do all the work, and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day – the birth of Santa?
– Bart Simpson (Matt Groening)

How is the Italian version of Christmas different?
One Jesus, one Mary, and 33 wise guys.

Funny Christmas Sayings

Group 2

Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.
– Andy Borowitz

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
– Victor Borge

My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.
– Melanie White

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
– Dave Barry

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.
– Bridger Winegar

Do you know why so many people love Jesus? Without Jesus, no Christmas.
– Melanie White

I left Santa gluten-free cookies and organic soy milk and he put a solar panel in my stocking.
– Earthman Adam ‏@AdamOfEarth

If you can’t wrap Christmas presents well, at least make it look like they put up a good fight.
– A Guy Named Kelly ‏@kellysdf

Funny Christmas Sayings 

Group 3

I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.
– Winston Spear

Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.
– Andy Borowitz

Christmas is a state of mind and that special feeling that only comes with an empty bank account.
– Melanie White

This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones.
– Guy Endore Kaiser

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
– Johnny Carson

I don’t mind fruitcakes. They’re the one thing during the holidays I’m not tempted to eat.
– Melanie White


Group 4

Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you’re home.
– Carol Nelson

My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness.
– Dave Barry

A Christmas miracle is when your family doesn’t get into a single argument all day.
– Melanie White

I’ve never really understood why Jews go out for Chinese food on Christmas Eve, but I think it’s because so many Chinese restaurants have the word “temple” in their names.
– Dan Zevin

Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.
– Melanie White

The principal advantage of the non-parental lifestyle is that on Christmas Eve you need not be struck dumb by the three most terrifying words that the government allows to be printed on any product: “Some assembly required.”
– John Leo

Merry Christmas

Quotes 5

The amount of time and energy we spend putting up and taking down holiday decorations tells me our ‘top of the food chain’ claim is invalid.
– Linda in Disguise ‏@LindaInDisguise

The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven’t seen for twenty minutes.
– Julius Sharpe ‏@juliussharpe

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
– Larry Wilde

Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
– Kin Hubbard

There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right?
– Conan O’Brien

If you watch a lot of infomercials, there’s a good chance you’ll already know how to work any gift you get from me.
– Just Bill ‏@WilliamAder

In the birth of Jesus story,
One thing we’re never told:
What happened to the frankincence
And myrrh, and all that gold?
– Greg Tamblyn

Funny Quotations

Group 6
It’s the holiday season. Let the overeating begin!
– Melanie White

There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.
– Bob Phillips

The Holidays are the one time you get to experience all the excitement of rush hour traffic in the mall parking lot.
– Melanie White

Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew’s Birthday.
– Andy Borowitz

Merry Christmas, nearly everybody!
– Ogden Nash

Original article by: David DeAngelo, the author of “Double Your Dating,” wants to wish you very happy holidays!

Christmas Quotes; Merry Christmas
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